Monday, June 28, 2010
My course work is complete!
Halleluiah! And I mean that because God got me through these courses. I would get stuck on a question or an idea and just hand it over to Him. Then I'd go to bed for several hours, and when I woke up I had the answer. I communed with Him and praised Him. Thank you to all who prayed me through this process--that was a source of strength for me.
Were the courses that difficult? No. But to do them in the space of one week each when they were designed for 3 months minimum each---well that's making them difficult. But as I've explained before, with my fibro, I have found that I have to compartmentalize. If I don't, then I don't do anything well.
So the house looked like a bomb went off in it. I gained weight from sitting so much, the bills and laundry piled up---well you get the picture. Then the first one was complete and mailed. I scurried around for two days cleaning, washing, finishing with my plants and mulching, paying bills, and then packing.
When I arrived in Cinci, I dropped the cats off and went to my fibro doctor's appointment. She could tell immediately I had spired downward. The new drug we were going to try is a 'no' for now. It may help the pain, but it won't help the depression which often holds hands with fibro and I'd have to go off my current medication for that. So we unanimously agreed.
She thinks I need counseling. That I've had too many deaths in the past several years and that I especially am still fragile about my dad's death. Then I told her about losing Lexie and I of course teared up. Then it hit me. The depression set in right after she died. One more death when I'm still reeling from the 'Big One'. I'm not sure about the counseling. . .
Then the next day I went to the dentist. I was supposed to get two crowns, but there was trouble in the one tooth---got sent immediately to an endocrinologist who determined that the designated tooth (the one to be crowned) was not the problem. The one in front was---he decided that it was a fractured root canal and that it needed pulled--and that he thought implants were much better than bridges and---Whoah doggies! I'm sitting there with my head spinning. He's wanting to pull my tooth and then put an implant in!
When I flat out resisted, he told me I'd probably still end up needing a root canal several years down the road. . . . he lead me to say, "So I should just get the root canal now?" Next thing I knew I went from sitting up in the chair to it being lowered and him settling in on his stool for an afternoon's work---after all, I had been sent to him for a possible root canal. And that's when my head screamed at me, "Will you listen to your gut, please?!" So I said, "Wait. Too much has been thrown at me and I don't want to make any decisions right now. Plus I want to talk to Dr. A. first." This guy had also indicated he was ready to pull the tooth! Oh no he was not!
So I went home and Dr. A. called and said to come in the next day and we'd figure it out. He's not the type to criticize anyone--one of the nicest docs I know---but his tone said volumes when his response was, "I know." to my "He wanted to pull my tooth right then!" I ended up with 3 fillings and no crowns and a wait and see.
[I did start my 'dentists day' with a pedicure by a close friend who's at a salon close by. Wonderful!]
Back home (the Cinci home) to knuckle down on the second course---planned to pull an all-nighter and get it done. My body said, "Nah, you're too old for that malarky." and I gave in and went to bed. It took me several days, but on Sat. it was sent by Express mail. I had to enlist some neighbor kids to fill out the worksheets, had to grade them, and make copies of EVERYTHING I did and was sending.
At one point I had to walk away from it because I couldn't get the student work organized--it's the simple stuff that my fibro fog shuts my mind down on---and it's stuff like that, that makes others wonder, "What's wrong with her? ( at least in my mind they do). Anyhow I went and read some Psalms and had a nice talk with God. My head cleared and I experienced success. It was done.
Now I'm sorting through the kitchen stuff to get ready to pack things up. We'll be going back up to the other side for our traditional July 4th celebration at our little place at Sencea Lake.