Bmeandering

Bmeandering

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Smalltown/Appalachia/Blessings



community

ordinary folks
living their lives
surrounded by hills and fields
part of
rolling foothills
of  appalachian mountains.

appalachia
can conjur up mind pictures
of
sagging roofs
mattress and couch
springs exposed
crowding porch
rusted autos
cluttering the landscape
hungry mangy dogs
eying passers-by suspiciously
 as do their owners

but appalachia
is much more

it's a small town
with farmers and coalminers
a small but thriving hospital
a family owned grocery store

appalachia
is
a parade an hour long
princesses
a band
firetrucks
floats proudly proclaiming
God and small town
(and disney)




it's
a pumpkin festival
a gathering of friends and neighbors
mingling with visitors
reunions of high school mates
home first time in years



it's
a celebration
of
fall and harvest
of
God and His blessings

of sweat and toil
 hands stained with the earth
knees peaking through ancient jeans
suspenders
ball caps
t-shirts
work boots





tables full of bounty
from the garden
and the kitchen






life in a small town world

I left it, but it never left me
this is home
i'm proud to be from appalachia
and small town america

God has blessed me








Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands
Serve the Lord with gladness . . .
Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves . .
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving . .
For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting;
and his truth endureth to all generations.
From Psalms 100


also my Psalm Friday

Blessings as you end this set of week days
and enter into your weekend.



Tuesday, September 28, 2010

King Pumpkin of 2010

                   Here it is--the 2010 Barnesville Pumpkin Festival's King Pumpkin!

 The seeds are auctioned off.  I've never witnessed this part of the festival; maybe next year.  My husband says the owner usually tries to buy at least some of them back.
This man has won now two years in a row---quite proud is he!

   My husband insisted.  I felt sort of foolish, but humored him.  I'm trying not to smile--teasing him, I guess---but it was difficult, because I was happy to be there with him.  I do enjoy this time with friends, neighbors, and visitors.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Combination post





This shows the weighing of the pumpkins two years ago.  This year  they used a new lower truck bed
and the scale was at a lower level also, so it was easier to see the entire process.


These are the champions two years ago.  The one last year was 1503.  With the dry summer,
the amount of pumpkins entered was down significantly.  The winner only reached 1475 pounds.
The same man won two years in a row--a local man from nearby New Concord: Bill Neptune.


I have lots of pictures to post of this year's Pumpkin Festival, but will make do with these tonight.  My apologies to those who read the weekly Psalm post.   I shut down on blogging for a few days while I 
dealt with some issues concerning my blogs. 


More underlined portions of Psalms from my Mother's Bible:


GOD is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed,
and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea. . .

Psalm 46: 1 & 2


My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved . . .

Trust in him at all times . . . God is a refuge for us.

Psalm 62: 5, 6, & 8


Here is the prayer to begin this work week.

 God 'guides' me as to what prayer to use.
Often the prayer is being sent out to another blogger, although
of course a sincere prayer benefits whoever reads it (or writes it in her blog).

"When I Need More Love in My Life"

Lord,
I open my heart to receive Your perfect love into my mind, emotions, soul, and spirit.
Help me to understand the depths of Your love at all times. 
Jesus, I know You are the Son of God,
and
because
 I have received You into my heart,
You live in me and Your love dwells in me.
Help me to live in Your love and not doubt it.
Help me to grow more and more secure in Your love so that I can grow and thrive
the way a child does with a loving parent.

Amen.

from: Prayers for Emotional Wholeness
by Stormie Omartian

Here is the accompanying scripture Stormy always has at the bottom of each prayer page:

Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him,
and he in God.
And we have known and believed the love that God has for us.
God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God,
and God in him.

I John 4:15 - 16

I hope your weekend was a happy one.  Mine was.
I pray that we all have a wonderful week.
Blessings to you all.



Monday, September 20, 2010

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Monday Prayer concerning work

My desk is a little cluttered., but I 'red it up' (an expression with which you may not be familiar---means pick up/organize/clean) each day before I go home.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.  I picked up around the house, cleaned a bit, and then babysat 3 of my grandchildren.  The oldest was at his dad's and stepmother's.    My son and daughter-in-law headed to Aruba for 5 days and 4 nights --all expenses paid---he earned it through his work.  They were quite excited, although they did joke about being alone for all that time---they hoped they still liked each other! :)

Addy Jane had a bit of a "I want mommy" melt-down as they were leaving.  But she's easily distracted and easy to make laugh.  We had a fun evening. The 7-yr.-old  has matured so much---it was a bit of a jolt.
All 3 have 'shot' up  and both the girls' hair has gotten much longer. 

 Dillon and Addy are showing signs of finally being potty trained.  They still wear pull-ups at night.  Dillon chooses his own clothes and dresses himself without any help.  I was impressed with the outfit he put together this morning. 

Peyton is wanting privacy now, which is fine.  I had to smile, but didn't let her see.  Addy and I played "Where's Addy?" with her blanket while Peyton dressed.  When I pulled the blanket from over Addy's head, her hair would flash crimson and gold--incredibly beautiful!  I wish I had a picture to post, but my batteries died and I'd forgotten to put spare in.

After the relief sitter came, I went shopping for pumpkin/fall decorations.  Wednesday begins our annual Pumpkin Festival and it's considered un-barnesville (as in unpatriotic) if you don't decorate.  I enjoy decorating my front porch, especially working with all the colorful mums that I use.

My husband is coming up on Tuesday evening and for the first time since I moved back here, he will be with me for the immensely important pumpkin weighing on Wednesday evening.  Yeah! :)

That night probably draws the biggest crowd.  The first time I went, I walked up by myself and felt a bit foolish.  Then I became fascinated with the process and was so happy I'd ventured out.  It's quite a process to lift and weigh 1200 lbs of pumpkin and we all ooh and ahh when the 'monster' is pronounced.  Hey folks, it's small town America! 

Well here's the Monday prayer which several of you have indicated you enjoy.  Here's to a blessed and wonderful week for us all!

Lord, bless the people I work for and with.  May I always be a blessing and a help to each one of them.  As I come in contact with others in my work, I pray that Your love and peace will flow through me and speak loudly of your goodness.  Enable me to touch them for Your kingdom.
Teach me to excel so that the result of what I do will be pleasing to others.  Enable me to do what I do successfully.
According to Your Word I pray that I will not lag in diligence in my work, but remain fervent in spirit, serving You in everything I do (Romans 12:11).

Amen.

The blessing of the LORD makes one rich, and He adds not sorrow with it.  Proverbs 10:22

This came from Stormie Omartian's A Book of Prayer.


This is the book I used for a short story course I took this summer.  The stories are truly short which works quite well with my general freshmen English class.  I enjoyed the course, learned a lot, and am looking forward to using this book.  I hope the stories and I will make an impact on my students.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Poetry Friday and Friday's Psalm

There is no frigate like a book                                 
To take us lands away,

Nor any coursers like a page

Of prancing poetry.

This traverse may the poorest take

Without oppress of toll;

How frugal is the chariot

That bears a human soul!

By Emily Dickinson


When I teach poetry, I almost always use this poem.  I have to explain the meaning of frigate, traverse, coursers, frugal, and oppress.  Then we discuss what she's saying.  This is one of my favorite poems because of the role it gives books.

Books have truly been my passage to other worlds.  I read my first 'classic' to get 'brownie points' with my high school English teacher my freshman year.  It was Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte and it remains my all time favorite book.  That book introduced me to the wild moors of England, tragic romance, the unique dialect of that region, and  intricate words whose meanings broadened  my own concepts.

Books are my haven in times of stress and turmoil.  For a brief time, I can set aside my life's concerns and assume someone else's life.  Lately I've been reading books that stretch my thoughts, cause me to reexamine areas in life, learn how to change those aspects in me that need adjustment, etc. 

Then there's the most important book in my life: the Bible.  I can't imagine not having the privilege to read it.

This is my contribution to Poetry Friday: If  over at Emily's.

This is also Psalm Friday for me.

More of my mother's underlined segments of verses of Psalms:

He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
And he hath put a new song in my mouth . . .
      Psalm 40: 2, 3

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God . . .
Why are thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me?  hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
     Psalm 42: 1, 2, and 5

From her fragile red Bible written in the Authorized King James Version


Blessing to you all as you enter the weekend.   I will be extra-blessed as I am babysitting 3 of my son's 4 children overnight on Saturday.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

School has begun


Last June, I sorted and packed.

Stacked books to be rebound.



The stacked notebooks had been graded and the grades recorded.
The clutter of the desk would soon be a memory.


Came back for a few brief hours--the custodians had done their job.  I  finished up, took photos, and went home to summer.












August and once again the custodians had visited.  The floor squeaked with wax. 
 The  boxes tipped
with the stacks of rebound books (from the window sill). 

After a few hours of work (newly moved hubby helped),
bulletin boards happily sigh.
Color has returned.
Words and humor spill from one surface.


School spirit erupts from this corner as clippings of games of football, soccer, and volleyball vie
for attention.

The essentials return to the desk, prim and proper,  and wait for the inevitable clutter.




I'm back at school.  It's been 8 days now. The halls resound with laughter and angst.

 Already we have had two students out with mono---one hospitalized.   Their back now, pale and shaky, but
determined to be well.

 Another young man returned with full-fledged rheumatoid arthritis. Just erupted one day this summer.  We teachers have commented that  we've not seen such an advanced case in such short a time.  He walks like he's a crippled 80 year old, but he's 17.  His hands are swollen and misshapen.   The pain in his eyes reach out to me---I know chronic pain, so we talk, and he smiles---even his eyes---for a brief moment.  He was absent today----70% precipitation---I wasn't surprised.

First fight of the year: two girls.  ISS (in-school suspension for 3 days).  Our principal believes in keeping them in school as much as possible---punishing them, but keeping them 'in their books'---not letting them languish at home with their cell phones and TVs.  We teachers are liking this guy.

An eccentric boy yearns for attention, but a warning bell goes off inside of me, and though I don't want to crush a spirit, I sense that my voice needs that warning chill, and I give it.  He's backing off.

Some advanced English juniors slunk out today.  Too many  of them didn't pay attention when I put MY notes on the overhead---MY outline--talked about what I deemed important.  They could copy word for word.  This was after they had taken their own notes, and  I had checked them and handed them back stressing that they would need to pay attention to mine. Those who did got As; those who didn't Fs, with a sprinkling of Ds, Cs, and Bs.  The quiz I had warned them about was given yesterday.  They could use their notes, but not their text books.
Wonder how many will pay attention to MY notes tomorrow?  They might want to know how to take effective notes in college---ya think?

Thus my year unfurls.  I have 2 desk calendars with scripture and prayer.  I spent a summer spending time in
the Word and listening to God.  I feel a difference.  I crawled out of here last year.  I walked tall as I entered
this year.  God whispered in a still small voice and I listened. 

I'm teaching for fun again.  Praise God!

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your hear. Jeremiah 29:13

The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.  Lamentations 3: 25


imperfect prose on thursdays

Do you see him?

Do you see him?

He's oblivious to us.


Absorbed so, in the crisp greens of his world.




Hello! He just realized he has an audience.

When they're not jumping out on the road, banging up two cars in one week (last November),
deer are cute.  However, we did notice the electric fences around some gardens, so eating human
food obviously makes them less cute to some.



I'm feeling better today--more human--less cranky feline.

These are more photos from our Hocking Hills trip.  This little guy was our neighbor.

I'd love to walk in those cool green woods today instead of stand in my sultry (try stuffy) room
with the air conditioner huffing and puffing
and still not cooling the room.
Of course 32 bodies crammed into a room designed for 25
tends to increase the heat.

Blessings on your day.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

dwelling in a cave

feel like i'm in a dark cave

i see light
but the glare hurts my eyes

the air is out there
but i can't breathe it in

i have sinus infection to thank for both

my knees are creaking
shaking
  snapping out of place

i'm moving slowly
fearful of falling
 ( mom fell at my age
sprained her hip
never quite recovered)

so two shots
one to each knee
courtesy of doc

reaction to cortisone
brings hot flashes
i'm positive
come straight from hades

so i'll sit in my cave for awhile
venturing out only for work

gulping scripture meds with my pills
listening to praise songs
croaking along

keeping temper in check
while i try to get enthused
over -- of all occurances--
columbus discovering america

i'd tell you how that relates to jr. american lit
but i think i'll go to bed instead



Sunday, September 12, 2010

Monday's Prayer


                   Entrance into Ash Cave in the Hocking Hills of southeastern Ohio.
                                           The ground is sand.

The weekend was too short.  Already it's time for me to 'gear up' for another work week  I hope this prayer reaches out to you.

                  When I Need to be Liberated from Loneliness---Stormie Omartian

Lord Jesus, when You were on earth You knew You were never alone
 because Your heavenly Father was always with You. 
Help me to have that same ongoing sense of Your presence too. 
Help me to be so aware of Your presence throughout each day
that I can feel Your love taking away any sense of loneliness
and healing me to complete wholeness.
I know that when I walk with You, I can never truly be alone.
Amen.

Yet if I do judge, My judgment is true; for I am not alone, but I am with the Father who sent Me.
                                                      John 8:16


                     I don't know who the people are---just liked this shot of the cave.



                               Blessings to you as you begin this new week.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Friday's Psalm


My son's boat coming towards our pontoon boat.  The sky is giving a show.  Mom loved the sunset at the lake, and  the weather, lake, and sky collaborated to create a beautiful setting for the spreading of the ashes ceremony.

This Friday I'm doing excerpts from Psalms.  Mother went through her Bible and underlined
uplifting lines, so I will share a few with you today as we finish up the week and head
 into the weekend.

When I consider thy heavens, . . .What is man, that thou art mindful of him? . . .
                         Psalm 8: one line of vs 3 and 2 lines of vs 4.
 
LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle?  . . . He that walketh uprightly,
 and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart. . . I have set the LORD
always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
                          Psalm 15: part of 1, then 2 & 8

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.
The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure,
   making wise the simple.
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight,
  O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
                Psalm 19: 1, 7, 14

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.  Psalm 23: 1

The earth is the LORD's, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.
He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart . . .
Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.
. . .The LORD of host, he is the King of glory.  Se-lah.
               Psalm 24: 1, 4, 9, 10

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear ?  the LORD is the strength of
my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say,
 on the LORD.
           Psalm 27: 1, 14

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.
            Psalm 31: 24
 I'll stop here.  The verses were taken from mother's Bible, which is an  Authorized King James Version.




                               Blessings to you all as you begin your weekend.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Granddaughter's responsibility

On her Daddy and Mommy's boat, standing steady, she bends her knees, tilts her head and watches
as the cup tips and the ashes spill.  Solemnly---she understands the importance of this moment.  She never met her (Great-)Grandma Shirley, but she remembers her (Great-)Grandpa Roy vividly and she still sheds tears for him.
Her Grandma Beth holds back her little brother.  He has had his turn as has little sis.  The last cup is Peyton's responsibility.  We say good-bye and then we pray.

Imperfect Prose on Thursdays

Monday, September 6, 2010

Response to chapter 4 of Mere Churchianity

Chapter 4 of Mere Churchianity by Michael Spencer.  Look at the end of this for the link. 

If you're looking for my usual Monday post of a prayer, it precedes this post.

 I wrote the following in the comment box of Bend the Page Blog and I accidentally deleted it, so I'm playing it safe ---I wrote it in a Word document first and then made my own post.


Okay, this chapter really got to me. I have whoa! ouch!,and wow! written too many times in the margins.

1): I’m familiar with most of the terms he mentions, but will someone explain 'put out a fleece', 'intermediate department', and 'watch night'?


2) I got his example of the student who wants to control the classroom and who thinks he’s above the rules. Every teacher gets one every year. But it “ouched” me when he said that our big problem with Jesus is that we want to control things, and Jesus turns out to be remarkably difficult to control. I did not like being the student wanting to take control of something that wasn’t mine to control.

3) My Monday’s prayer (that post precedes this one) has a part where the author Stormie Omartian is asking forgiveness for ever being hesitant to publicly say that Jesus is her Lord and that she believes in Him, because of the criticism and judgment of others. That part of the prayer bothered me, because I don’t think proclaiming Jesus as your Lord and Savior is always the way to go..

As M. S. says on p. 51, “Jesus talked about a lot of things, but not everything.  In many cases, his actions spoke for him. In other cases, what he failed to do spoke volumes about what he wanted his followers to be like.”

There are several ‘proclaimers’ at the school where I teach and their actions say something different and it’s their actions that are remembered. I believe walking in Jesus’ love for others is the more effective way to go.

But I esp. liked the part when Stormie asks for help to stand strong in the midst of opposition or discrimination of any kind. I have experienced both for the way I reach out to kids, esp. the ones who are shunned by others. It’s lonely there for them and me.

4) M. S. reminds us that Jesus’ personal outreach to the people whom religion officially avoided was one of the most distinctive and shocking things about him. I like M’s expression “Jesus Messiah who kept ‘thumbing his nose’ at hundred of years of Jewish tradition, religious authority, and unquestioned codes of behavior. Examples: hated Samaritans were okay and despised tax collectors were loved by God.

5) Would Jesus recognize his movement if he paid a quality-contol visit today? This is one of the questions M.S. asks in this chapter.

If you're wondering what I'm, talking about check out
Bend the Page book discussion

Monday's prayer and Zip-lining



This is one our guides (Steve) getting ready to shove me off into the air.  Mike and I took a "Canopy Tour" while on vacation in Hocking Hills in Ohio.  We went zipping through the trees on zip lines and also walked over 4 suspended bridges ( we were still hooked onto a line).  I was nervous, but I really wanted to experience being that high.  I love trees---something so majestic, mysterious, awesome and well they just smack of God to me!  Our two guides were in their early twenties and were funny, helpful, and encouraging.  I am so happy that I braved it.

Here I'm coming onto the platform.   The other guide is there ready to grab me if I need help.  They had a terrific set up for taking off and landing on the platforms that were built around the trees high up.

Our group.  The ones wearing the yellow hats are our guides.  Mike and I are in the far left hand corner.
The woman and her two boys (up by the guides) were from Ohio, but she was originally from Russia and they spoke Russian.  The young man in front of Mike and me and the man in the red spent half of each year in Russia and half in New York City.  I really didn't get to find out more.  The guy in the red did not speak English, so she translated everything to him.  We all got along, encouraged each other, and had a blast!  The fastest we zipped was about 35 miles per hour.

      





                   Now on to my weekly prayer to help us all begin our weeks.  This one is especially good for me as I start school on Tuesday.  It's by Stormy Omartian and from one of her prayer books.
 
                             When I Need to Stand Strong in Times of Weakness


Lord, help me to be strong in You. 
Forgive me if I have ever been hesitant to publicly say that You are my Lord and I believe in You for fear of the criticism or judgement of others.
Help me to stand strong in the midst of opposition or discrimination of any kind.
Protect me from gossip or disgrace.
Keep my reputation safe from the criticism of those who may want to ruin it.
Thank You that I am Your child, and I don't need to be ashamed of anything that happens in my life, for You are either bringing restoration to that area or have allowed it for a great purpose that will be revealed.


Amen.


The Lord God will help me; therefore I will not be disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I will not be ashamed.   Isaiah 50:7


                                               Blessings to you as you begin this week!


                                     





                                           This picture is simply a view from the top!

The line you see is an emergency zip line down to the ground.  They have them at every tree
 in case someone needs to get down immediately or is hurt and needs to taken down.




           

Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday Psalm and Remembering Shirley and Roy/mom and dad/grandma and grandpa



                                                                    "The guys"

This picture is from Christmas 2003.  In the chair are: my father (Big Roy) and my grandson, Colton.
Standing behind them are: my brother David, my son Doug, and my husband Mike. Missing from the picture are: David's son Ben, Doug's other son Dillon (not born yet), my brother Roy, and his son Roy William.

I do not have a picture of mother on my computer---something I must remedy now that my IT specialist husband is living here in B'ville with me instead of in Cinci (that job is over).

Tonight my husband, my son Doug, and three of my grandchildren, and I will spread a portion of my parents ashes in a place that was special to my parents.

For today's end of the week and beginning of the weekend Psalm, I'm using the one Psalm of which mother has underlined every verse with red ink.  None of the other Psalms have ALL the verses underlined.  This is also from her Bible given to her by my dad for Christmas 1980.

Psalm 100

1. MAKE  a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.

2. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

3. Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us,
and not we ourselves;
we are his people,
and the sheep of his pasture.

4. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving,
and
into his courts with praise:
be thankful unto him,
and
bless his name.

5. For the LORD is good;
his mercy is everlasting;
and his truth endureth  to all generations.

Authorized King James Version

( I wrote in bold those words that were in italics in her Bible.  Italics don't show in my posts,
because I've chosen a script font.)

Blessings on you all as you begin your weekend.




Our last complete family reunion.  This was in July of 2006.
  Dad died that December.

David and his wife Cindy, me and husband Mike,
Roy's wife Peggy and Roy

Mother and Dad's grandchildren
 and
great-grandchildren


Doug with Dillon,
 wife Mindy with Colton,
 Ben's wife Casey and Ben,
Sara holding Peyton
(Doug and Mindy's),
 Roy holding Emily,
and 
Roy's wife Monica holding Mikie.
We now have Addie
(Doug and Mindy's 4th)
and
 Jory and Aaron
(Sara's husband and son). 
Sara is now pregnant
with her next child.

Mom only got to meet Emily.  Emily was a baby
when they brought her to mom
on the cancer floor of the hospital.
 I don't think they realized that Emily symbolized
all the great-grandchildren
 that mom would never know on earth.

( I had to write it like poetry to fit in my margins.
 I don't have time to change it.
Also, these aren't the best pictures,
but they are all I have
on the computer.)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Simple joy--a little boy and mega blocks


simple joy
mega blocks
his eyes sparkle
with the light of happiness

  no tv shows for him
who's sponge bob?
he hasn't a clue

 take him through target
and he's unaware
of
all the movie characters'likenesses and related 'stuff'
overloading the shelves


he sees the mega blocks
and
remembers another grandma's house in ohio
with these cool colorful blocks
that stick together
wow!
did you know they could do that?


the other ohio grandma
visiting him in texas
wants to buy him a toy
the mega blocks win
hands down.
but he didn't say no
to the dump truck


 the next day
he drags the bag of  blocks around
making his happy sounds
and brightening grandma's world
with his huge smile




later he patiently and methodically
fills the dump truck with stones
only certain ones will do
and they have to come
from the spot
at the side of the house
so back and forth
repeatedly
he's intent
and
seemingly tireless


somehow
grandma forgets it's texas in august
and the inside of the house
is really the place to be

no, this is the place to be
walking beside her grandson
the one who reminds her of another man
the one some folks called big roy
his genes most likely are lengthening this boy's frame
stretching his feet to sizes that should not fit yet
but. . . do

big roy would laugh heartily
at this little guy
figuring out how to open a big glass door
so all the kids could scurry to their mamas
 sitting and talking
knowing their children are safe and content
in the play area of the restaurant
for now
blessed uninterrupted conversation

but . . . wait
look at that!
how in the world?
the 17-month-old
not only has opened the door
he's holding it open
strength
height
big feet
huge heart
simple joy



i so want to believe
that
my dad and mom are beaming down from above
can they see us from heaven
is that part of the package?


tomorrow i scatter their ashes
don't want to
don't know why i don't
i sit here and cry
it's been 4 1/2 years since big roy left
and 9 1/2 since we said goodbye to her
it still hurts


but
i've got 5 grandkids and one on the way
joy they all bring


yet
this one in texas
well  . . . he tugs hard on my heartstrings
i see my dad in him
and
know that God has given us a wonderful gift
a little boy
who smiles readily
who enjoys people
who--well . .  who simply enjoys life



just like his great-grandpa did
it's that simple



Blessed are the people that know the joyful sound:
they shall walk, O Lord,
in the light of thy countenance.
Psalm 89:15
a late contribution to imperfect prose on thursdays