Bmeandering

Bmeandering

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Embracing the moment while facing uncertainty


The house was built in1915.
It is a bit battered in places.
The basement door opens out to a small sitting area rimmed on two sides
by flower gardens.
The third side is open to the side yard.

The elderly lady, who previous owned this home,
 laid outdoor carpet over bare ground
and that was her patio.

It has been ours also as we fixed up the house in Cinci
so we could sell it,
maintained the campground place at the lake,
and remodeled inside this house.

I dislike the carpeted bare ground area intensely.

But we ponder how much to do to fix it,
because we don't know
how much longer we will be here
and
whether we will sell this place or rent it.

 We struggle with what to do next,
waiting for that house
that calls our name
and frankly not finding it
yet.

Meanwhile,
this house has witnessed me struggle
these past four years.

I've dealt with:
 living separately from my husband;
being recalled to my former job
 only to find the responsibilities different and tougher;
taking care of my ailing dad,
 then my dying dad,
then his 'estate';
mourning over his death
and
struggling with living without him.

These are just some of the obstacles I've faced
in just four years.
Of course, always hovering in the background is the chronic illness,
which some don't believe exists: Fibromyalgia.

So now I plant flowers,
sort through boxes,
move stuff here then move it there,
always wondering,
"When Lord, when does my life settle down?"
But as I do this, I find plenty of moments to smilingly embrace,
 cherish, and remember.
These moments put in perspective the ones I can't "get my arms around."

Please understand, I'm not depressed.
Just pondering.

With that I give you this prayer by Stormie Omartian,
which actually led to me 'voicing' all of the above.

"Embracing the Moment"

Lord, Help me to embrace the moments of my life
 that are hard to get my arms around.
Enable my eyes to see You in them.
Help me to always acknowledge the abundance
of Your goodness to me.
I lift to You the deepest struggles in my life.
I trust You to open my eyes to see
all You have for me in them.
Reveal to me the fullness of it all.
Thank You that I can be filled with the joy of Your presence
in every step I take,
because You have given me
the light
I need for whatever step I am on.

Amen.

In the day when I cried out, You answered me,
and made my bold with strength in my soul.
Psalm 138:3

Blessings to you all as you begin the week.






8 comments:

  1. It's a lot to ponder and pray about. It's good to know God is at our side through those times.

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  2. Sorry to read about your struggles. Hope that house calls your name soon. There are many problems with where we live now, but it's at least a place we can call home for now! How about removing that carpet, and placing some woven bamboo or vegetable fiber rug instead? Having a nice place to sit and enjoy your flowers and your yard may make you feel better about the house.

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  3. I hope you find your home soon. I know how I am when our home is going through small "facelifts" it throws me off balance.
    I think we all need that special corner to go to. Would you mind me asking what is under the carpet, dirt, brick etc? Is the spot the one in the photo? I think I see a diamond in the raw, without spending too much money.
    I just read Francesca's comment. Would it be fun for you to take closer photos of this spot and ask for some ideas?

    Thank you my friend for the prayers! This is one reason why I haven't been able to visit all of my favorite blogs between work and wanting to do things for my friend. xo

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  4. i'm with francesca and joyce. i'll bet there are some neat ideas out there for that carpeted area, without spending a mint. (and you've made everything else in that area look so inviting!)

    (keep embracing those moments of joy in the midst of everything else)

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  5. It has been a difficult four years for you Beth. Perhaps it is good to just go slowly through this new season. I think we women can't help but "feather our nests" a bit - even if we aren't certain about the future. It's part of making a house home.
    I pray that the Father will smooth out the road before you and lead you to a very special place.

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  6. good pondering...
    i planted some flower seeds today. still pulling weeds, and when i get a little area cleared, i plant some seeds. this area is up against my house. after i plant the seeds, i have taken some chicken wire that we had in a pile and put it over the area to keep our cat from digging...hopefully the seeds will produce a few blooms.

    have been having some restless leg stuff the last few days, i hate it. it seems to affect my whole body at times. it's best to keep moving, but i get tired. i am not too hip on this getting old business.

    one and a half more days of school. the eighth grade gets to go to a camp tomorrow

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  7. These past four years haven't been the best for us in many respects as well. Illness (Top1 is battling with Lyme), loss (my FIL), more illness (my stepdad had a heart attack at our home), more loss (jobs) and the resounding knowledge that though this house is our home, it is not in the right place for us. Would that it could just be picked up and moved to a better place!

    Still, we have had good times as well, as I am sure you've had too. Your grandson, for instance, has come into your life. You've started blogging and that has expanded your world (as is the case for me as well).

    We just have to hang in there, don't we, and take each day for what it is worth.

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