Monday, August 8, 2011

Change and Patience with the Scripture of the Week

 It has been a long weekend.  Mike and I
had three of the grandchildren Friday night
at the lake.  Doug picked them up Sat. morn.

It was decided then that Doug would bring the
kids to our Barnesville home around 5.  While
I watched the kids and fixed supper, Doug and
Mike would load some of our furniture into
a covered trailer for Doug to take back to his
new home in Cambridge. 

School starts for Cambridge in two weeks,
so Doug is working against the clock to get
this house ready.
The above pic is half of his back yard at his cottage
at the lake. It is quite tiny.

The pic to the right shows the kitchen in the cabin.

The picture below shows the eating area, the living
room, a peek of the 'master' bedroom, and the door
to the bathroom.  There is one other bedroom to
the right of the bathroom door.  The 3 youngest kids sleep in it with Colton sleeping on the couch in the living room (his choice).

This was fine as long as it was Mindy and Doug's summer cabin.

The size and set-up became a problem when
this cottage became Doug's home with Mindy
getting the 9 room farmhouse with 3 baths and
a 3 car garage on an acre of land.

 He's not contesting that.  He hated it when
his dad and I sold the home he grew up in
as part of a solution after our divorce. 
He does not want his kids to lose their home.

This is the kitchen (done in late 60s or
early 70s style) in the new house. 
His dad and step-mom bought it
as an investment.
His rent will go towards the buying of it or
if on down the road he decides he doesn't
want to buy it, they will 'flip it'.

He made a tough decision that was at least
two years in the making (the problems have
been longer).  Yes, they went to marriage counseling at his insistence.  But it takes two
to save a marriage and he finally concluded he
was the only one who wanted to.

To the right is the table area of the kitchen.  Right
now he's using our card table and folding chairs.

The ladders are there as part of the painting crew
(his step-mom, her sisters, and him) and the cleaning
crew (him and me).
This is the living room with the dining area to the left of that high window.  The floor is still covered with the matting.  The carpet was removed.  The hardwood floors are in great shape and will be revealed soon
now that the painting is done.

 This is a shot from the front of the living room
looking back into a family room that he is making
into a master bedroom with a connection to
the laundry room and small bathroom that are
on the other side of the left wall of that room.
That opening is the door into the kitchen.
                                               Below is part of the completely painted living room.
                                     Our dining room table and chairs now sit under that chandelier.

This is his bedroom now.  The paneling will be painted white and the youngest, Addy, will call
it her room.  She is presently sharing a bedroom
with her older sis.

This will be Doug's bedroom.  That side door will be removed.and a wall will be built between
that room and the living room. 

This is the mudroom/laundry room with the door on the right opening to a small bathroom that
contains a corner shower.

Here are Mike and Doug loading our extra set of washer and dryer from our Cincinnati home.

This was done earlier in the week.
I wasn't able to get pics of the furniture loading process.

                                              His new backyard taken from the far end.

His new home. 

This house sat empty for a year. 
 It needs a boatload of work inside and out.
It has to have a new roof immediately (leaks noticeably).
Eventually a new furnace/air conditioner will need to be purchased).
The old deck in back had to be torn up first thing
because it was a hazard to the kids.
I could go on.

But the house has great bones
and it was a bargain price.
Mike and I wish we could find something comparable here.

Still, I think Doug was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed especially
when he priced furniture.

But he sent a pic via his phone Sunday morning.
It shows our dining room set, our couch and love seat,
my parents' end tables, and my mom's recliner
in that L-shaped living/dining room.
He texted his thanks and that he was finally feeling
like he had a home.

He has a long road.ahead. 
She's angry.
She wants him to come back and go on the way they had been.
He can no longer live that way.

I carefully wrote the above because I needed to put order
to at least some of what's swirling around
in this mother's mind and heart.
Plus this gives far-away family an update on his living situation.

As for how I feel about divorce, that may be for another post some day.
I have learned that 'sticking it out' for the kids' sake,
as my parents' generation did,
isn't always the best for the kids or anyone else.

Scripture of the Week
(at the beginning of a new week)

I WAITED patiently and expectantly for the Lord;
and He inclined to me and heard my cry.
Psalm 40:1

Better is the end of a thing than the beginning of it,
and the patient in spirit is better
than the proud in spirit.
Ecclesiastes 7:8

[I will be full of joy now!]
I will exult and triumph in my troubles
and rejoice in my sufferings,
knowing that pressure and affliction
and hardship
produce patient and unswerving endurance.
And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character
(approved faith and tried integrity).
And character [of this sort] produces
[the habit of]
joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.
Romans 5: 3-4

I will not lose heart and grow weary and faint
in acting nobly and doing right,
for in due time and at the appointed season
I will reap,
if I do not loosen and relax my courage
and faint.
Galatians 6:9

I will be happy when the way is rough,
because it gives my patience a chance to grow.
So I will let it grow,
and not try to squirm out of my problems.
For when my patience is finally in full bloom,
then I will be ready for anything,
strong in character, full and complete.
James 1: 2-4



  1. It's very sad and seems pretty unfair. I would say your son is being the better person in this situation and I'm sure the kids will benefit from this. As a Mom, I can only imagine how your heart hurts for him.
    The new house looks like it will be very nice.

  2. It's a lovely house, and although there must be much grief, I can also see much love in the preparation of it...

  3. James 1:2-4 really caught my eye. It's not an easy thing to do.

    Blessings on your son's new home.

  4. I love his new home! The foundation of this home was built on love, sweat and tears by all. With this strong foundation, this house became a home for him and his children to grow with their love and faith. You my friend did well raising a wonderful man. There are some dads out there that could learn a lesson or two from your son. Thank you! xo

  5. I'm sorry for what your son is going through, Beth. I know it breaks your heart. But--he is doing the right thing. One of my sons is in a horrible marriage and keeps sticking with it --even though he is totally miserable. I really pray that he can get out of that situation sometime---but it's up to him... I'm not an advocate for divorce, but sometimes, you just have to do it --if you want to find happiness.

  6. His new home, set up with all the help from his loving family, will be a good new beginning.

  7. Oh my, Beth. This is all very sad. Praying for patience is a terrific idea and I'm glad you find comfort in scripture.


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