i didn't

 here's a little boy who reminds me of another
little boy who's now a grown-man

all those years ago as i tended to
their needs: a daughter and a son,
i never dreamed they'd give me

six grandchildren

 all those years ago when i sat down with a whoosh and a sigh while my husband
did bath duty
i didn't imagine that some day bath time would be my duty and that i would relish it
i didn't think that when i was in my mid-fifties, my bathroom would be cluttered with
bathtime paraphernalia


 i didn't think i'd sit on the toilet and laugh at a little boy with an upside down cup on his head
or that i'd buy a duck that covered the spigot and swallowed bubble bath only to spit it out

i didn't imagine the clutter that i'd allow to be scattered around the living room --not the least
bit bothered by it

or the mess on the dining room table

i didn't think i'd still be packing up miniature suitcases --only this time to send back home
that i'd be the grandma babysitting while mom and dad went on a trip
well---i kind of thought of it in that i hoped i'd be able to do what my mother did if i got the
opportunity

i also didn't think i'd still be having those times

when i age 10 years in one day

like i did tuesday as my first-born gave glorious birth

to her second-born

no when you're young and trying to be the best mom and best wife

and not fall apart

keep a clean, neat house

prepare healthy meals

and well --just survive

you don't think about being a grandmother

and then one day you are

and it's wonderful

i don't have a picture of the newest grandchild

to post

but my mind and heart and prayers

are with her and her big brother

and mommy and daddy

way down in texas

i'm sending my love

to them 

part of emily's imperfect prose on thursdays

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