Wednesday, February 2, 2011


tossed into a time of turmoil
expectations of me
by others
insecurity of me
to fulfil

knot-twisting stomach anxiety
i don't want to be here
panic at the familiarity
reliving a bad memory
is rarely good

hand through hair
i wrestle with my inner angst
i don't want to be in this class
i can't possibly handle the physical demands

excruciating embarrassment
at a handicap i don't understand
so how can others

my steps lead no where
whereas the others
walk straight and tall
knowing the correct direction
knowing the way out

                                                              finally the nerve rises up
bile tasting
frightened at my audacity
i still speak
if i don't stand up for me
who will

let me out
i say
i don't belong here

the door opens
steps emerge
i slip slide down them
into a safe zone

my eyes open
2 am

tangled in covers

dreaming no more


  1. Very interesting post. I like it a lot!

  2. whew that was some dream...lots of inner feelings wrapped up in this one...

  3. The line between dream and nightmare is determined by how much you sweat on the way back to reality. This poem is so real and the burdens and demands of everyday life sometimes draw us into that overwhelming place until finally we scream:

    let me out
    i say
    i don't belong here

    Well done, I like this a whole bunch (that is more than just a lot...)

  4. Great job Beth. I felt myself carried into that sense of panic. I was relieved when you woke up!

  5. I'm so glad I clicked on your name on OneShot because I so like what you've written here. This is excellent!

  6. Oh My---what a dream.... Do you think some of this may be true, while you think your work????? I know that your job can be rough.. I also know that if you help ONE child, it will all be worth it...


  7. I was worried. That was some bad dream... hoping reality is much nicer...

  8. Okay ... breathing again! Well written, Beth. And may your sleep be sweet from now on.

  9. i had some stupid dream last night about big mice.

    good one shot.

  10. Intriguing piece... takes ones breath away... wondering if the way out will strike.

  11. I sure understand the "sleep" thing. Very, very active nights... last night Dave was arrested and dragged to court in handcuffs and I was standing outside the corridor somehow watching what was going on and realizing his charges were a lie... but not knowing what was going to happen for sure and then the judge agreed and freed him... and then I woke up. A little stress, doncha think? Makes me wonder what that was all about. [I haven't had the guts today to tell Dave about that dream; he just knows I had an "active" night.]


I welcome your thoughts. Please let me know you stopped by.