Five-Minute Friday: Lost

He was my rock.

Oh, God was, of course,

but in human terms,

it was my father.

I had a rock-solid husband

for whom I have been blessed

 and continue to be.

But Dad was my first

and always rock.

I knew I'd take it extremely hard 

when the time came for him to pass on

and be with Mom.

But even I underestimated

the excruciating pain

I experienced.

I was lost.

I wondered around blindly

for a long while.

Eventually I got my bearings somewhat,

but I still felt lost

and

rudderless.

I realized that he had also been my church

as he was a Methodist preacher

and the pastor 

I held above all others.

I didn't have a church (I gave up church

after a harsh betrayal by a close Christian friend

and my Christian husband)

and that bothered him tremendously.

I didn't understand why I needed one---

that is, until I lost my rock.

It's been seven years

and I am finally able to go through the photos

and sermons and misc.

I also joined a church;

it had been 'his' years ago

when I was growing up.

I'm back living in that small town now,

so once again that church is my church.

He designed the podium and chairs,

so it's easy to picture him  there.

My rock. . . I didn't lose him;

he's just watching over me from a distance.

The Cliffs of Moor in Ireland

where my husband and I celebrated

 turning 50 together.

I'm joining Five-Minute Friday.