Wednesday, November 17, 2010

i can't honestly say i loved teaching today

my outlet

how do i describe my day?

level 8 pain today
using a cane to prevent a fall
when my knee jerks

six freshmen boys
who are driving us all nutty

i've tried
every trick in the book

they don't want to learn
not just in my class
but in anyone's

sending them home
would be a reward
for them
and a respite
for us

we're supposed to want to
save them
teach them
keep them from becoming
and future prison inmates

the system wants to tie
our evaluation
to  how well kids are learning

what if they don't want to learn?
you know the saying:
"you can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make him drink"
i think
we could dunk their heads in
they'd drown
rather than drink

yea, i'm seeing the cup half-empty
right now

i had a new boy
"f.--- you, b ---.!"
at me.
i had taken him in the hall
to quietly talk to him
about doing his work
my voice was not raised
i was not angry

it's called concern
but to him
it was nosiness
being a b    .

two women teachers showed up
within seconds
as i walked back
 into my room
to aforementioned boys
laughing it up
i ignored them
sat down to fill out
 the referral--
i'd sent the cusser
to the office

the five boys
 honed in for
 the kill
they never got close
one teacher took two
another took three
one was absent
one stayed

                                                           i can't honestly say
                                                              i loved teaching

these are the roses we dropped in the water  when we spread my parents' ashes

i'm 56
and i want to call my mom
tell her i need tlc
and go eat her meatloaf

i want the bear hug 
"you look pretty"
from my dad

i'm getting my nails done instead
the appointment's been set

the car will try to veer
into dairy queen's parking lot
for comfort ice cream
milk products
add fuel to the fire of pain
i don't need any more

that was my day

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

an imperfect day for imperfect prose on thursdays


  1. Oh, Beth. Level 8 pain? And everything else. I wish I could make you meatloaf and give you a hug. Your writing is eloquent. I feel like I was right there with you...

  2. Hi Beth, I am so sorry... I feel so sorry for teachers these days. It's so much worse than it used to be. My good friend teaches Kindergarten in Texas --and even she has horrible discipline problems with FIVE yr. olds. She is yearning for retirement.... I can only imagine what you all go through these days. There's no discipline or rules in the home --so why would they think they have to follow the rules at school??? it all goes back to the HOME --and their up-bringing.

    Good Luck --and lots of PRAYERS.

  3. Beth, I pray that the days ahead are easier for you. Being in pain makes it so hard to deal with stress . . . I remember from my days of teaching. You will have good days again!

  4. oh, friend. reading this: i get it. the freshman boys. the "teacher accountability" test scores. we are strapped without my teacher's salary, but my blood pressure is all the better for it.

    hoping that Christmas break comes soon for you...

  5. level 10 pain in the patootie.

    everytime a boy acts-up, make his parent escort the lad to all of his classes the next day.

  6. Despite the boys being so rude, you may be the only person they see Jesus through. I cannot imagine dealing with this day after day, but I know too, God can use you mightily. May you have His strength and healing.

  7. Praying you'll enjoy teaching tomorrow. And that your pain will subside....the pain in your neck from the boys and all the other pains.

  8. Teachers have to be the bravest people on the face of the earth! I'm in great admiration for your self-control and strong will power.

    So glad I found you through emily's imperfect prose...signing up with your gang of followers...
    Wait a day, things will get better!

  9. Thanks for sharing. I hope it helped just to get it out of your system? And that the nail appointment helped even more? And perhaps the boys will have a good day tomorrow? And I know you know this already and don't need me to say it, but your words make me pity those boys. Those poor hopeless boys who don't want to learn...

  10. What an interesting look inside your day--your situation. So often, I think students forget that teachers are people. I know I did when I was in high school, and I was one of the good kids. I hope it gets better...especially the pain. And the part about your parents, that made me cry.

  11. I am so sorry Beth. I have such admiration for teachers, knowing I couldn't do it even for a day. It is a gift.
    Wish I could give you a hug, but words of comfort will have to do. I pray there will be moments in the days to come to make it all more than worthwhile. You are doing a tremendously valuable job. Thank you.

  12. oh, friend. how i admire you teachers. my husband too, today, came home wiped from his grade 8 class. what is it with grade eights? praying strength for you, and joy. and so glad you got your nails done. xo

  13. *hugs* praying for a better day for you today and for those boys that are sabotaging their future without realizing it.

  14. Why "8"? Why not "10-plus, plus, plus"? What an awful experience. You handled it well. It would have taken a nailing big time by the Holy Spirit to have kept me from being in the kids' faces. AND even if I didn't say or do anything, it would have been "written" across my forehead and blasting from my eyes. So, bless the work of your hands. You're one special lady.


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